You are my pillar of strength. The core to my foundation. I had this feeling within, but never acted upon it. Are you going to betray my trust? Ruin everything I believed. Are you the person that I loved? Have you been lying to me? I don’t know if I should find an answer, or …
lost without you
you don't know how hard its been to write in here. to face my feelings. go back down memory lane. realize the extent of the pain i've caused. i feel so lonely. its a different type of lonely. one where you know you could have been different. been loved. and one where at the same …
There, a fire.
How can I tell someone of the fire burning inside of me? The crackle, burn, and heat of all that surrounds me. They expect me to yield water yet flames enclose me. How can I warn them? I burn them. Blindness all around me. A home in the deep. An echo far away. A call …
drops of silence
down my face, from my eyes, aged and old, rushing to the river beneath, promising neverending gold. they glisten and fall, tell all a story unique to each drop. refusing to stop, moving down my face silently, they race each other. who that wins, will drown her happiness finally.
Lost in the Moment
I'm at a state in my life where confusion is blocking serenity. My serenity. I don't know what I want. What I'm fighting for. What my intentions are and why. It's like I'm in a trance of some sort. Lost in the moment. Letting every moment graze by my skin, willing to catch it but …
Laced With Poison
I'm struggling with who I am. Straining to turn myself around. Spin on my feet. Feel the wind. I drape the negatives and choke them within. It's a black hole. Where does it all go? Assembled I was piece by piece. Ruined I was piece by piece. Re-build I will piece by piece. Giving up …
Plagued
She lost her way. She was addicted. Pain gave her happiness, happiness full of pain. She turned off her light. The sun fell to the ground. She burned her hands, gathering the pieces all around. Clouds made way for rain. She drowned. The tide was high. She was unfathomable. Originally written: …
Go To Hell
I'm sick and tired, of all the curiosity. My mind's eating me alive, I feel surreal. It's too much to reel in, my boat's sinking. Help. Into the water, I take a dive. Breathing? Unnecessary. I let myself drown, into the hellfire that calls out to me. I see no sign of tranquility. There's fire …
Noise
My mind wanders. My thoughts scatter, aim to break free. They show me the real me, the dark side of my negativity. I know I'm slipping away, out of breath. The knot's loosening. And I'm losing.
Without Any Chains
I wish I had a little bit of freedom. handcuffs. …
Parents or Enemies?
Why do some parents perceive themselves as more superior than their children? Why do some believe that they could do whatever they want, whenever they want and it wouldn't affect their child? Why do some deem it okay to scream at their child, call them names, torture them, put them down, make them feel inferior …
Anxiety
When my anxiety kicks in the firstmost thing I notice is my racing heartbeat. It speeds up so dramatically that I have to put a hand to my heart just to help calm it down. Then, the shallow breaths. My breathing slows, then races. It becomes inconsistent. And suffocating. Next, the weakness. I can never …
I Feel
I feel so alone today. So weak, so guilty. Regret. Its like I failed the test God set out for me. And I can just feel His disappointment. My mind is swimming with emotions. Many I fail to decipher. I feel like a bad person. I feel like nothing is going right. It's as if …
Just Lost
I have a big headache. I'm losing my hair. Really. My family is not mine. I don't feel like they love me. I don't feel comfortable in my own body. My dreams look so far away. I don't want to fall again, but I'm falling deeper than before. I'm unsteady; heavy-hearted, wanting to be gone with …
Enslaved to the Fantasy of being in Love
This is for my girls (& possibly gay men). This is for heartbreak. For my heartbreaks. & for yours. Sometimes we value others more than we value ourselves. We give them more importance than we should. More than they deserve. We cherish them and hold them, close to our heart. We hurt ourselves but don't …
Fighting Parents
Eggshells. Walking on eggshells is what my whole childhood and teen years have felt like. I don't think i'm gonna spill my whole story on this. But from today I'm gonna keep a journal. I'll keep updating. FIghting hurts. It gets to you. As a child you feel hopeless. You feel like your the only …