you don't know how hard its been to write in here. to face my feelings. go back down memory lane. realize the extent of the pain i've caused. i feel so lonely. its a different type of lonely. one where you know you could have been different. been loved. and one where at the same …
Lost in the Moment
I'm at a state in my life where confusion is blocking serenity. My serenity. I don't know what I want. What I'm fighting for. What my intentions are and why. It's like I'm in a trance of some sort. Lost in the moment. Letting every moment graze by my skin, willing to catch it but …
Mercury
I have trouble connecting two and two together. Never ace me in math. My minds a mess, jumbled thoughts. The future sides with Mercury. Close but dim, the tides are high. Emerging from glares, only when there's a why. Perhaps still invisible to the naked eye. Somethings really wrong with me. Growth is perpendicular to …
Laced With Poison
I'm struggling with who I am. Straining to turn myself around. Spin on my feet. Feel the wind. I drape the negatives and choke them within. It's a black hole. Where does it all go? Assembled I was piece by piece. Ruined I was piece by piece. Re-build I will piece by piece. Giving up …
Plagued
She lost her way. She was addicted. Pain gave her happiness, happiness full of pain. She turned off her light. The sun fell to the ground. She burned her hands, gathering the pieces all around. Clouds made way for rain. She drowned. The tide was high. She was unfathomable. Originally written: …
Go To Hell
I'm sick and tired, of all the curiosity. My mind's eating me alive, I feel surreal. It's too much to reel in, my boat's sinking. Help. Into the water, I take a dive. Breathing? Unnecessary. I let myself drown, into the hellfire that calls out to me. I see no sign of tranquility. There's fire …
Noise
My mind wanders. My thoughts scatter, aim to break free. They show me the real me, the dark side of my negativity. I know I'm slipping away, out of breath. The knot's loosening. And I'm losing.
Without Any Chains
I wish I had a little bit of freedom. handcuffs. …
Anxiety
When my anxiety kicks in the firstmost thing I notice is my racing heartbeat. It speeds up so dramatically that I have to put a hand to my heart just to help calm it down. Then, the shallow breaths. My breathing slows, then races. It becomes inconsistent. And suffocating. Next, the weakness. I can never …
I Feel
I feel so alone today. So weak, so guilty. Regret. Its like I failed the test God set out for me. And I can just feel His disappointment. My mind is swimming with emotions. Many I fail to decipher. I feel like a bad person. I feel like nothing is going right. It's as if …
How
I just need to break down and cry. I'm back on a low. My tears are now fast and heartbeat slow. Deep breaths in and deep breaths out, still I feel suffocation all throughout. It's a sad place to be in, I can't escape. I can't deal with the anxiety, I should leave. Now my …
Just Lost
I have a big headache. I'm losing my hair. Really. My family is not mine. I don't feel like they love me. I don't feel comfortable in my own body. My dreams look so far away. I don't want to fall again, but I'm falling deeper than before. I'm unsteady; heavy-hearted, wanting to be gone with …