Evergoing

There is so much to say. Yet, all I see is that I lost someone permanently. I lost someone so beautiful to me. Someone who fulfilled my destiny. I wish people could see through to the real me. Only then they would know not to be friends with me. I cry today because of my …

We don’t talk anymore, but I do miss you.

Finally Unchained

I look behind me, and the soft blur steadies slowly, squinted my eyes a few more times and I now see clearly. It’s a broken bridge, there’s a hollow gap, a deep emptiness that separates us. We used to share intimate little spaces, strange but familiar darkness, and the perfect amount of comfortable silence.

I used to fill your cracks with these tiny flowers that grow in my mouth, and you use to fill mine with warm fuzzy stars out of your pocket. I wonder if I left cold spots when I left your bed, I wonder what you use to fill them with. I wonder if my name shoots arrows in your delicate chest when it’s mentioned. It haunts me, consumes me, not knowing what you think of me. I’m screaming in whispers when I confront this humdrum fever.

I look at you, and I can’t tell anymore what…

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Hope

Hope is a deadly thing. It never goes away; keeps you alive but poisons you day by day. There can be no reason to have hope yet it still exists. I, just by existing, am a display of hope in itself. Things have been happening. I haven't been on top of everything. My family is …

Silently

Hurting myself isn't an option.How do I run away from this?What's keeping me alive is also killing me. What kind of tragedy am I in?She who I seek love from, fails to show me that she cares.Actions speak louder than words they say. All that I see is unfair.All I hear is silence. They say …

Irrelevant

Seasons come and go, flowers continue to bloom. Who gives way to rain, when sunshine is prevalent,                        behind the mountains                                       the skies           …

No Name

this was written sometime in late 2018.  Life is unfair. Impossible in thought. What we think, how we feel is irrelevant to its growth. I'm hurt. I'm distorted. I don't know where to look. My mind's a mess of jumbled thoughts, how can I tell someone so. It's weird, these feelings inside - they often come and go. But the sadness …

He I Loved

This is about someone I loved and will always hold close to my heart. Each sentence has its own meaning. Its scrambled and random, but it's the most raw words I have in the moment.

Mercury

I have trouble connecting two and two together. Never ace me in math. My minds a mess, jumbled thoughts. The future sides with Mercury. Close but dim, the tides are high. Emerging from glares, only when there's a why. Perhaps still invisible to the naked eye. Somethings really wrong with me. Growth is perpendicular to …

Plagued

She lost her way.  She was addicted.  Pain gave her happiness, happiness full of pain. She turned off her light.  The sun fell to the ground.  She burned her hands, gathering the pieces all around.  Clouds made way for rain.  She drowned.  The tide was high.  She was unfathomable.          Originally written: …

Go To Hell

I'm sick and tired, of all the curiosity. My mind's eating me alive, I feel surreal. It's too much to reel in, my boat's sinking. Help. Into the water, I take a dive. Breathing? Unnecessary. I let myself drown, into the hellfire that calls out to me. I see no sign of tranquility. There's fire …

Noise

My mind wanders. My thoughts scatter, aim to break free. They show me the real me, the dark side of my negativity. I know I'm slipping away, out of breath. The knot's loosening. And I'm losing.          

Anxiety

When my anxiety kicks in the firstmost thing I notice is my racing heartbeat. It speeds up so dramatically that I have to put a hand to my heart just to help calm it down. Then, the shallow breaths. My breathing slows, then races. It becomes inconsistent. And suffocating. Next, the weakness. I can never …

I Feel

I feel so alone today. So weak, so guilty. Regret. Its like I failed the test God set out for me. And I can just feel His disappointment. My mind is swimming with emotions. Many I fail to decipher. I feel like a bad person. I feel like nothing is going right. It's as if …

How

I just need to break down and cry. I'm back on a low. My tears are now fast and heartbeat slow. Deep breaths in and deep breaths out, still I feel suffocation all throughout. It's a sad place to be in, I can't escape. I can't deal with the anxiety, I should leave. Now my …

Pen and Paper

Emile Sandé - Read All About It | Part III | Writing. It's truly a blessing isn't it? I don't remember when I started writing. Or how. But it's been a part of my life since I could remember. Although, I never was fond of keeping a diary (until now) I was always better at …

Just Lost

I have a big headache. I'm losing my hair. Really. My family is not mine. I don't feel like they love me. I don't feel comfortable in my own body. My dreams look so far away. I don't want to fall again, but I'm falling deeper than before. I'm unsteady; heavy-hearted, wanting to be gone with …

YOU

Family. It's a strong word. You have it. So do I. Mine is yours and yours is mine. What family means to me? Family, it's there. It's just there. Static. Unforgettable. Always influencing your decisions. Always on the back of your mind. It's important. It's annoying. You love it, but then you don't. It's your …