You are my pillar of strength. The core to my foundation. I had this feeling within, but never acted upon it. Are you going to betray my trust? Ruin everything I believed. Are you the person that I loved? Have you been lying to me? I don’t know if I should find an answer, or …
Will I?
is life all that it seems? or is there most to life than what im seeing? will i get to graze the heaven on earth one day and sigh with content? or will i continue to be numb and not feel like this is the end? will i open my wounds and let the blood …
Long Overdue
I'm scared to flip the page, to face my own feelings. I'm scared of the intensity of my self inflicted pain. I don't know where to start. It's been 2 years. I thought the pain would have disappeared by now. but, all time did is prove to me how much I love him. "our paths …
lost without you
you don't know how hard its been to write in here. to face my feelings. go back down memory lane. realize the extent of the pain i've caused. i feel so lonely. its a different type of lonely. one where you know you could have been different. been loved. and one where at the same …
There, a fire.
How can I tell someone of the fire burning inside of me? The crackle, burn, and heat of all that surrounds me. They expect me to yield water yet flames enclose me. How can I warn them? I burn them. Blindness all around me. A home in the deep. An echo far away. A call …
Brother
I don’t have any brother. no sibling. no friendship. no more saath. I end our relationship permanently today. I never want to see him again. Not at my wedding, or ever with my family again. I never want my children to know who he is. He doesn’t exist for me anymore. I will not pray …
Meri Aashiqui
rishte jab jismani ho jaate hain, toh kahi na kahi dosti mit jaati hai. chali jaati hain. pyaar mein junoon hai, dosti mein sukoon hai. aur main nahi chati ke hum dono ke beech woh sukoon kabhi bhi chala jaye. bare wafadar hai aapke aansoon. aapki ijazat ke beghair bahir bhi nahi nikalte. behne di …
Fool Me
You know that feeling within, the one that makes you want to die. I have so many words to say yet, no will to let them go. So many things to feel yet, forbidden from feeling them. Trapped in my own handcrafted world, thinking about the cards being dealt.
bittersweet
, he was. Always a bump in the road. Yet I always gave him a chance to be one of my own again. He took those chances and twisted them for his own. How do I still love him after all this pain? My mind is confused. Heart and future shattered. I guess what I …
Blood
He left. He left me all alone. He left without saying goodbye. Without giving me a sign. I feel such hatred towards him, yet its origin stems from unfathomable love. What can I say, what do I do? He cracked my world on three, in two. He left me all alone. To wipe others' tears, …
drops of silence
down my face, from my eyes, aged and old, rushing to the river beneath, promising neverending gold. they glisten and fall, tell all a story unique to each drop. refusing to stop, moving down my face silently, they race each other. who that wins, will drown her happiness finally.
Evergoing
There is so much to say. Yet, all I see is that I lost someone permanently. I lost someone so beautiful to me. Someone who fulfilled my destiny. I wish people could see through to the real me. Only then they would know not to be friends with me. I cry today because of my …
Lost in the Moment
I'm at a state in my life where confusion is blocking serenity. My serenity. I don't know what I want. What I'm fighting for. What my intentions are and why. It's like I'm in a trance of some sort. Lost in the moment. Letting every moment graze by my skin, willing to catch it but …
We don’t talk anymore, but I do miss you.
I look behind me, and the soft blur steadies slowly, squinted my eyes a few more times and I now see clearly. It’s a broken bridge, there’s a hollow gap, a deep emptiness that separates us. We used to share intimate little spaces, strange but familiar darkness, and the perfect amount of comfortable silence.
I used to fill your cracks with these tiny flowers that grow in my mouth, and you use to fill mine with warm fuzzy stars out of your pocket. I wonder if I left cold spots when I left your bed, I wonder what you use to fill them with. I wonder if my name shoots arrows in your delicate chest when it’s mentioned. It haunts me, consumes me, not knowing what you think of me. I’m screaming in whispers when I confront this humdrum fever.
I look at you, and I can’t tell anymore what…
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Hope
Hope is a deadly thing. It never goes away; keeps you alive but poisons you day by day. There can be no reason to have hope yet it still exists. I, just by existing, am a display of hope in itself. Things have been happening. I haven't been on top of everything. My family is …
̶o̶f̶f̶l̶i̶n̶e̶
weird things, weird feelings. wake up in sweats. bad dreams. something bad is going to happen. i can feel it. nothings normal in my heart. i'm just trying to understand. i want everyone to stay away. from me. doubting my ability to receive love. rethinking all my words. over and over again. until i just …
The Sun Shines Somewhere
Life passes. People come and go. The misery up and goes. There's more to life than the cage of understanding we've built around it. Things happen for a reason. At the time they desire. It's a different timezone than ours. So appreciate the people who love you in life. Who find good in what you …
Silently
Hurting myself isn't an option.How do I run away from this?What's keeping me alive is also killing me. What kind of tragedy am I in?She who I seek love from, fails to show me that she cares.Actions speak louder than words they say. All that I see is unfair.All I hear is silence. They say …
Irrelevant
Seasons come and go, flowers continue to bloom. Who gives way to rain, when sunshine is prevalent, behind the mountains the skies …
Anxiety is Box-less
Too lonely, too scared. Anxiety (n): me, my mind, my tears. When alone my thoughts spring free, jumbled and reckless. They swirl in my brain, pound and crash into every wall I desperately built to last. There's no way to focus on just one. version 2 I cry my tears & let the sobs run. Cover my face and …
No Name
this was written sometime in late 2018. Life is unfair. Impossible in thought. What we think, how we feel is irrelevant to its growth. I'm hurt. I'm distorted. I don't know where to look. My mind's a mess of jumbled thoughts, how can I tell someone so. It's weird, these feelings inside - they often come and go. But the sadness …
He I Loved
This is about someone I loved and will always hold close to my heart. Each sentence has its own meaning. Its scrambled and random, but it's the most raw words I have in the moment.
Anxiety in a Box
I need a way out. I'm trapped in a box. No peeking holes. No booby traps. No way to get out. I'm sealed in from all ends; no space to move around. I can hear the walls talking yet no words are coming out. Water drips down, I catch all the drops. A moment of …
Mercury
I have trouble connecting two and two together. Never ace me in math. My minds a mess, jumbled thoughts. The future sides with Mercury. Close but dim, the tides are high. Emerging from glares, only when there's a why. Perhaps still invisible to the naked eye. Somethings really wrong with me. Growth is perpendicular to …
Laced With Poison
I'm struggling with who I am. Straining to turn myself around. Spin on my feet. Feel the wind. I drape the negatives and choke them within. It's a black hole. Where does it all go? Assembled I was piece by piece. Ruined I was piece by piece. Re-build I will piece by piece. Giving up …
Plagued
She lost her way. She was addicted. Pain gave her happiness, happiness full of pain. She turned off her light. The sun fell to the ground. She burned her hands, gathering the pieces all around. Clouds made way for rain. She drowned. The tide was high. She was unfathomable. Originally written: …
Go To Hell
I'm sick and tired, of all the curiosity. My mind's eating me alive, I feel surreal. It's too much to reel in, my boat's sinking. Help. Into the water, I take a dive. Breathing? Unnecessary. I let myself drown, into the hellfire that calls out to me. I see no sign of tranquility. There's fire …
Noise
My mind wanders. My thoughts scatter, aim to break free. They show me the real me, the dark side of my negativity. I know I'm slipping away, out of breath. The knot's loosening. And I'm losing.
Without Any Chains
I wish I had a little bit of freedom. handcuffs. …
Parents or Enemies?
Why do some parents perceive themselves as more superior than their children? Why do some believe that they could do whatever they want, whenever they want and it wouldn't affect their child? Why do some deem it okay to scream at their child, call them names, torture them, put them down, make them feel inferior …
