Anxiety is Box-less

Too lonely, too scared.

Anxiety (n): me, my mind, my tears.

When alone my thoughts spring free,

jumbled and reckless.

They swirl in my brain, pound and crash

into every wall I desperately built to last.

There’s no way to focus on just one. 

version 2

I cry my tears & let the sobs run.

Cover my face and shut my eyes as if it would

stop the world from engulfing me.

Never a soul here to help me.

I’m left alone to figure out

these innate, foreign thoughts by me.

version 3

Overthinking is disease I forged.

It’s another level, the next step.

I’m numb inside but can still feel the screams

of depression and heartbreak.

I feel tremendous guilt.

I try to sustain the dire need of punishment,

against myself.

version 4

Why?

Because I’m a failure to myself.

The most hurt I am is because

of me.

No one can hurt me more than I.

the result

I let myself freeze in the cold that night.

I let myself sob,

breakdown and feel.

I let myself be anxiety for 4 hours.

Just so I could try and fix myself

for tomorrow night.

tomorrow 

The fix never came.

The tears never went away.

Here I am.

Again and again.

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