Too lonely, too scared.
Anxiety (n): me, my mind, my tears.
When alone my thoughts spring free,
jumbled and reckless.
They swirl in my brain, pound and crash
into every wall I desperately built to last.
There’s no way to focus on just one.
I cry my tears & let the sobs run.
Cover my face and shut my eyes as if it would
stop the world from engulfing me.
Never a soul here to help me.
I’m left alone to figure out
these innate, foreign thoughts by me.
Overthinking is disease I forged.
It’s another level, the next step.
I’m numb inside but can still feel the screams
of depression and heartbreak.
I feel tremendous guilt.
I try to sustain the dire need of punishment,
Because I’m a failure to myself.
The most hurt I am is because
No one can hurt me more than I.
I let myself freeze in the cold that night.
I let myself sob,
breakdown and feel.
I let myself be anxiety for 4 hours.
Just so I could try and fix myself
for tomorrow night.
The fix never came.
The tears never went away.
Here I am.
Again and again.