I Feel

I feel so alone today. So weak, so guilty.

Regret.

Its like I failed the test God set out for me. And I can just feel His disappointment.

My mind is swimming with emotions. Many I fail to decipher.

I feel like a bad person.

I feel like nothing is going right. It’s as if all my feelings and thoughts plan to betray me soon.

So anxious. There’s a ceaseless burden behind my eyes. I can never see it, but it’s always alive.

I get mind blanks every day. My memory never coincides. To remember, I always have to put in more effort.

I hate my face.

I fear my future.

originally written July 30, 2018.