Hi, I’m a girl. I have lots of luscious hair. Well, I used to…
Telogen Effluvium. In easy words, it’s hair loss. But not the normal one. It’s abnormal because I’m still under the age of 20 and do not have any other disease devouring me right now.
So let’s give this thing a nickname for easier use. Teloflu is how I will refer to it in my journey and blog posts now.
I have Teloflu. And from here on out I will tell you my story, my hair loss, my feelings and more.
Teloflu is caused by major stress or trauma. Or medications. Or a change in hormones. Or a severe diet change.
Well, which one was my trigger?
Process of Elimination:
Medications – Um no.
A change in hormones – Possibly. Changes in hormones could also be caused by outlying factors.
Severe diet change – well I still eat everything and anything and am 135 on my weight machine. Either my weight machine is lying to me or I’m still eating like I did two years ago.
So that really only leaves one option…
Stress. Severe traumatic stress.
But nothing changed in my life. When I first found out about Teloflu I figured it wasn’t real. Because the stress present in my life right now was far past the introduction phase. I’ve been bombarded with these feelings my whole life. So I should’ve been used to it right?
I thought so too…
Stress is weird. Sometimes, it uses your body more than you use it. Sometimes it doesn’t belong. And sometimes it’s deliberate and raging.
I never believed I could have stress because I was just a kid you know. I was always told that it was impossible for me to have things to worry about right now since all I had to focus on was studying and sleeping. For 17 years, I thought that my ‘stress’ wasn’t real and that I was overreacting. I would put my feelings down every time they tried to surface. Anytime I tried explaining my stress to other people, I would find my OWN-SELF brushing it off and laughing in the middle of my talk saying that it’s not really a big deal.
However, my body got tired of me.
And it faced me.
And it turned away. Completely.
My own body saved me from myself. It gave me a warning. And boy what a warning it was.
To describe the hair loss, the easiest way I can explain it is that my body has gone on a vacation and refuses to come back until I treat it better. Some days my hair loss is worse than others, and some days my hair doesn’t bother me as much. But that doesn’t change the fact that my hair follicles have refused to grow back any hair. If you look closely on my scalp, one can notice that the places where my hair has fallen out, no hair has been growing back. And my hair shall not grow back until it decides to come back from vacation, which can be anywhere from 3-6 months.
Now try to imagine with me.
I had hair, but I had stress.
Then my hair started falling out, and my normal stress was still present.
Then my hair kept falling out, and my stress levels went bonkers because, personally, I thought I had cancer (I’m not a doctor please do not judge me but we’ve all been in this place before from online researching).
In all seriousness though, my Teloflu led to unimaginable stress for me. It added on to whatever was going on in my life and made me cry for an extra hour every night. That crying would then lead to more hair loss in the morning.
So you can see the circle of tangles I was stuck in.
A week went by and I stopped brushing my hair and washing it and shampooing it. I refused to look down the drain of my shower and I even refused to take a shower after a few more days. Because after the shower, whether or not I had washed my hair, I did not feel clean since a hairball of hairs was always spread all over my body as soon as I turned off the water.
So I cried. And cried. And lived like a homeless for about another week or so.
I wore caps. I didn’t go out. I didn’t take care of myself because I thought there was no point and I would still look ugly nonetheless.
Then my doctor’s appointment came about. And after many many weeks, I saw some light shine unto my hair.
(will be continued in the next post for my Hair Loss Journey….)